[RELEASE] RelNotes (Draft 3), last preliminary 4.2.0 tarballs

[Benedikt Meurer]

Brian J. Tarricone wrote:
> Benedikt Meurer wrote:
> 
>> Hello world,
>>
>> I've just put draft 3 of the release announcements online, which 
>> incorporates all the latest suggestions and improvements. In addition, 
>> a first german translation of the short announcement text is available 
>> (Moritz and other germans, please review the text :-).
>>
>> If nobody complains until tomorrow, these release texts will become 
>> the final texts, and Francois can start to integrate them into the 
>> website.
> 
> 
> 
> ok, here goes...
> 
> I. short announcement
> 
> "a new and nice-looking icon theme": this sounds a bit self-deprecating 
> - "nice-looking" is pretty weak.  that's something you say when you mean 
> the exact opposite but you're trying to be polite.  either use something 
> really flattering like "beautiful", or leave off the adjective entirely.
> 
> "bleeding edge": hyphenate.
> 
> "... performance improvements, ... and various other improvements...": 
> perhaps try for a word other than "improvements" for one of these?
> 
> "platform independent": hyphenate.
> 
> "... provided by os-cillation to discover...": needs a comma: ".. 
> provided by os-cillation, to discover..."
> 
> II. website announcement
> 
> "... based on the Gtk+ toolkit...":  should that be GTK+?  it *is* an 
> acronym.  i dunno.  i go back and forth on that one.
> 
> "... and designed following the Freedesktop specifications.": this 
> sounds a bit awkward.  perhaps: "... and designed to comply with [any?] 
> relevant Freedesktop specifications."
> 
> "platform independent": hyphenate.
> 
> "Xfce 4.2 is the first desktop environment to ship with an easy-to-use 
> and platform independent graphical installation wizard, which takes care 
> of compiling and installing both, the Xfce and contributed packages on 
> your computer.": say what?  try: "Xfce 4.2 is the first desktop 
> environment to ship with an easy-to-use and platform-independent 
> graphical installation wizard, which takes care of compiling and 
> installing both Xfce and any contributed packages on your computer."
> 
> "Kiosk Mode": why is this italicised?  it doesn't seem to make sense, 
> since no other feature names are in italics.
> 
> "bleeding edge": again, the italics?  and hyphenate.
> 
> "... for the new Xorg Composite extension...": should be "X.org"? if 
> not, change the "X.org" to "Xorg" in the section somewhere above.
> 
> "... transparency to the Xfce desktop)": capitalise "Desktop"?
> 
> "... and support of the XDG base directory...": s/of/for/
> 
> the bulleted list:  i generally put periods at the end of each bullet 
> point, regardless if they're sentences or not.  looks better (IMO).
> 
> "... new Xorg Composite extension...": again, "X.org"?
> 
> panel bullet: this is the only bullet point that's actually a sentence.  
> perhaps ditch the "It" at the beginning for consistency?
> 
> "... with double pane...": this is kinda odd.   perhaps "... with two 
> [file view?] panes..."?
> 
> "... that allow homogeneity...": probably add "for" before "homogeneity".
> 
> "... is available as high bandwidth and low bandwidth version...": 
> change to "... is available in high- and low-bandwidth versions..."
> 
> "both lightweight and full featured": hyphenate "full-featured"./
> 
> /ok, i'm too tired to read part III, so i'll try to look at it tomorrow 
> (assuming that's not too late).

Done.

>    -brian

Benedikt