[RELEASE] RelNotes (Draft 3), last preliminary 4.2.0 tarballs

[Brian J. Tarricone]

Benedikt Meurer wrote:

> Hello world,
>
> I've just put draft 3 of the release announcements online, which 
> incorporates all the latest suggestions and improvements. In addition, 
> a first german translation of the short announcement text is available 
> (Moritz and other germans, please review the text :-).
>
> If nobody complains until tomorrow, these release texts will become 
> the final texts, and Francois can start to integrate them into the 
> website.


ok, here goes...

I. short announcement

"a new and nice-looking icon theme": this sounds a bit self-deprecating 
- "nice-looking" is pretty weak.  that's something you say when you mean 
the exact opposite but you're trying to be polite.  either use something 
really flattering like "beautiful", or leave off the adjective entirely.

"bleeding edge": hyphenate.

"... performance improvements, ... and various other improvements...": 
perhaps try for a word other than "improvements" for one of these?

"platform independent": hyphenate.

"... provided by os-cillation to discover...": needs a comma: ".. 
provided by os-cillation, to discover..."

II. website announcement

"... based on the Gtk+ toolkit...":  should that be GTK+?  it *is* an 
acronym.  i dunno.  i go back and forth on that one.

"... and designed following the Freedesktop specifications.": this 
sounds a bit awkward.  perhaps: "... and designed to comply with [any?] 
relevant Freedesktop specifications."

"platform independent": hyphenate.

"Xfce 4.2 is the first desktop environment to ship with an easy-to-use 
and platform independent graphical installation wizard, which takes care 
of compiling and installing both, the Xfce and contributed packages on 
your computer.": say what?  try: "Xfce 4.2 is the first desktop 
environment to ship with an easy-to-use and platform-independent 
graphical installation wizard, which takes care of compiling and 
installing both Xfce and any contributed packages on your computer."

"Kiosk Mode": why is this italicised?  it doesn't seem to make sense, 
since no other feature names are in italics.

"bleeding edge": again, the italics?  and hyphenate.

"... for the new Xorg Composite extension...": should be "X.org"? if 
not, change the "X.org" to "Xorg" in the section somewhere above.

"... transparency to the Xfce desktop)": capitalise "Desktop"?

"... and support of the XDG base directory...": s/of/for/

the bulleted list:  i generally put periods at the end of each bullet 
point, regardless if they're sentences or not.  looks better (IMO).

"... new Xorg Composite extension...": again, "X.org"?

panel bullet: this is the only bullet point that's actually a sentence.  
perhaps ditch the "It" at the beginning for consistency?

"... with double pane...": this is kinda odd.   perhaps "... with two 
[file view?] panes..."?

"... that allow homogeneity...": probably add "for" before "homogeneity".

"... is available as high bandwidth and low bandwidth version...": 
change to "... is available in high- and low-bandwidth versions..."

"both lightweight and full featured": hyphenate "full-featured"./

/ok, i'm too tired to read part III, so i'll try to look at it tomorrow 
(assuming that's not too late).

    -brian