[OT]Re: XFce's way

[Joe Klemmer]

On Mon, 2003-07-21 at 18:16, Ric wrote:

> I hope you do not mind that I attached the [OT] to this as it really has
> nothing to do with XFce's way.

	My fault, I should have done the same initially.

> In retrospect, it was a very long time ago, I am thankful she took the
> stuff that way (and ended any chance of "us") 'cause I have to wonder
> if I would have met the same fate as Buffy...

	Man, there's nothing like it, huh...  Mine started our separation with
the move out.  She took anything that she bought, anything that I bought
for her, anything that her mother bought, anything that we bought that
she wanted and anything else that she liked.  She also took our son but
I ended up getting him back.

> It gets better.

	Famous last words.  ;-)

> Years later, we had never finalized the divorce - long story, she
> telephoned me while I was in Nebraska finishing my EE & Math degrees
> and told me that she wanted to have a baby.  The ol' clock was making
> a lot of noise, iguess.  I was pretty busy that night as I had 3 exams
> the next day and just said 'Okay...' . ( Really, i did not know what
> to say to that - I had not even talked to her in over a year. )  And
> then she said, " I want you to be the father. ". 
> 
> I nearly fell out of my chair. :-)

	Ha!  Well, you got me beat there.

> Personally, I blame the marriage "contract", not her.  She was fine
> before it and fine after it (we became "friends" again after the
> divorce was final).  Also, none of my post-marriage-experience
> partners have been like that -all relatively sane and absolutely fair
> during the splitup. 

	I put all of our problems on the fact that my ex wouldn't be honest
with herself.  She kept trying to deny who and what she is.  I remember
talking to her about it before we were married and even after.  I tried
to encourage her to open up but she just kept denying it.  Then, after
10 years and one child she finally admitted to herself that she really
was a lesbian.  Things were very tough when she first left me but that
was due to her friends advice ("get him before he gets you") and her
lawyer ("leave him, take all the money and file for bankruptcy").  After
we had a chance to sit down and talk over everything she realized that I
wasn't trying to "get her".  Then it took only three days to work out
the divorce settlement.  She even ended up moving into the apartment
across the hall from mine with her girlfriend last year.  When you have
a kid, close is good but that was just a tad to close.  I just moved
into a house in June so she's about 5 miles away now.  This is a good
distance.  We're on pretty good terms now, and I also happen to like her
girlfriend.  I can't say that we'll always be like this as she has
always been a little volatile, but hopefully life will be good.  I want
this mostly for my son.  When we were fighting, and it did get really
bad, he suffered the worst of it.

-- 
Paradise; can it be all I heard it was?
I close my eyes and maybe I'm already there.